deviation-variation:

To people who don’t cut. Who don’t take time to understand it, there will always be ignorance. I am not pro-self harm, but I know how it works because I’ve done it. I do it. I was clean for years, but recently I’ve broken that streak. I’m not saying that to discourage others to stop trying. Not by any means. I’m saying it to prove that you aren’t alone. That it isn’t something you can “just stop” or some other bullshit like that. It isn’t fair when people try to guilt you into the whole, “What you’re doing is hurting me.” because it only makes it worse. 

It’s like telling a smoker that it’s bad for them. That induces stress. It makes them want to smoke more. Same principle. 

Some people out there will never understand no matter how any of us reach out, and frankly, they’re idiots. God, help them if they ever find themselves in the grips of an addiction and suddenly get the big picture.

I try to focus on things that make me happy, and I get a bit obsessive because of it. I have a therapist and a psychologist who are trying to help me with this. Let me tell you one thing, it helps. It might not at first, but you have to find the right combination of people for you.

Just because you mess up doesn’t mean you can’t stop. If a friend gives you a disappointed look because you slipped up and fell off the proverbial wagon, they aren’t helping. They are only feeding the horrible, hateful, ugly thing inside of us that a great many of us are trying to kill. 

Despite all my therapy, I live with an unimaginable amount of self-hate. Worthlessness. Of feeling unwanted. Helpless. Alone. Even when I’m not.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that one day it will never cross your mind. That’s bullshit too. An addiction is an addiction, and sadly it will probably be with you for the rest of your life. That doesn’t mean it has to rule your life.

It doesn’t mean you can’t take your life back from it.

Your scars or cuts don’t make you ugly. Did you know that scar tissue is stronger than regular skin? When it heals, it is thicker than the usual layers, and therefore stronger. As you heal, you get stronger.

I’m writing this even as I’m going through a pretty heavy relapse myself. I’m not giving up. Neither should you. If you ever need a hand to hold, even just an internet hand, or hug, I’m here.

I will hold your hand. I won’t judge you if you cut. I will try to talk you out of it because I care, but I will not get frustrated or angry at you for a relapse or messing up. It won’t help you. It won’t help me.

So, I’m here. I’m here if you need me.

Reblog if you feel the same, or just need some inspiration. I hope this helps.

beinggayisokay:

2pookygay:

Anon who asked about this, look at the notes.

(via kittenspawn)

.

canhearyourthoughts:

captainspangly:

stevestarspangledrogers:

It’s Lukan here guys, Spangledmun.

So Erin (Spanglymun) and I are very close. Closer then close. So the thing is, she was supposed to move to California this month and move in with someone but apparently they bailed. I don’t know who they are, but she wants to move anyways, especially since I live here. (Sadly I live with my parents and I don’t think they would allow it..so..) Anyways. She needs help.

Now she and I both hate asking for help from others, but if it brings my Erin closer then I will do it. I love this girl, okay? Fucking love her. So I am asking, no, I am begging you; Please help her, help us, I need her here. I made a chipin and soon she will too. Yes I realize that means 2 chipins but the faster we get this money the better.

She is in a bad living situation and the only other options she has is another, equally bad one. I want her here so bad and asap. I am worried for my baby..please help up?

Here is the link again. PLEASE HELP!! I AM DEAD SERIOUS!! Please…

For anyone has reblogged this, thank you. And I am begging you, pleading you to help me and I hate doing it. I can never in a million years convince myself I deserve the help but please… please…

Help her if you can, please. She’s an amazing girl and I want her safe. If you can’t help right now then please reblog. Signal boost as much as possible, please.

canhearyourthoughts:

sleptfor70years:

My friends,

We all have times in our lives we need to do things we hate. For me, this is one of those times. However, I must swallow my pride, open myself up, and ask the people I love and who love me to be there for me when I may need them most.

Unfortunately, I find myself in need of dire financial assistant. Simply put, I need help. As some of you are aware, life has dealt me a very poor hand lately, and as life often does, it’s gotten worse not better. 

Anything you can do would be appreciated. I and my roommate are at risk of losing our telephone service, our power, and worse our home itself. We have already cut every possible expense we can, but are still behind and at risk of losing nearly everything. 

I know that there are others out there who need help, but I’m asking you, my friends, to help me. Someone you know and talk to, someone who can say thank you to you personally herself..

Even a little will help, as we all know. Instead of that app or those comics book or that latte, please help someone you know. It will add up fast and help us stay above water while we find other ways to make ends meet.

Please send what you can to deadlyalice@gmail.com

Thank you all in advance for your help. It makes all the difference in the world to me, and I love every one of you for it.

SIGNAL BOOST

One of these days I’ll make a muse list of all the rp muses I have here on tumblr. It’s a LOT. lol

blktauna:

lostwiginity:

onelonelyrobot:

X-Men: First Class deleted scenes

“Where are you going?”

What am I going to say, I want him to think of me as manly he likes manly I saw him stare at my abs when I took off my diving suit on the ship…

“I’m going to the gym. Where are you going?”

What the bloody hell am I supposed to say to that I can’t say ‘I’m off to have a wank because I can’t stop thinking about you half naked and wet on the ship’, and now that he’s mentioned the gym I can’t stop thinking about his abs, just say something innocuous, something unsexy-

“I was going to make a cup of tea.”

another masterclass in eyefucking

(via kittenspawn)

mydoctortennant:

Date Night with Clint and Natasha

So, basically, our son is going to blow himself up, make himself sick, out do the super soldier and make Bruce Hulk-out?

phobs-heh:

 Inception > Avengers

(via killthemuse)

nickflurry:

asFJSRGKWESFHJEKWLGDSGHJK THANKS ASH

(via touchreceptors)

They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant. They must’ve thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.

I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. “Okay, Reggie,” I said out loud, “let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”
____________ _________ _________ _________

To Whomever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner. I’m not even happy writing it. He knew something was different.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn’t done it yet. Doesn’t
matter where you throw them, he’ll bound after them, so be careful. Don’t do it by any roads.

Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones —-“sit,” “stay,” “come,” “heel.”

He knows hand signals, too: He knows “ball” and “food” and “bone” and “treat” like nobody’s business.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He’s up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. It’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you…His name’s not Reggie. He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name. But if someone is reading this … well it means that his new owner should know his real name. His real name is “Tank.” Because, that is what I drive.

I told the shelter that they couldn’t make “Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with .. and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter … in the “event” … to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he’d do it personally. And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.

Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he
loved me.

If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that’s enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,

Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver
Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

“Hey, Tank,” I said quietly.

The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

“C’mere boy.”

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months. “Tank,” I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my
face into his scruff and hugged him.

“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me.” Tank reached up and licked my cheek.

“So whatdaya say we play some ball?” His ears perked again.

“Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?”

Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.”

(via hasedo)

ragingserenity:

X-Men First Class Cherik Fic Recs March 1 - April 4

As you all know, I have a twitter feed for daily recs, and a DW for a bi/tri-weekly list. However, for tumblr accessibility, I also have a tumblr rec just for the X-Men fics, because apparently I can’t get enough of this fandom. Jan 1-5 here | Jan 5-10 here | Jan 10-15 here | Jan 15-25 here | Jan 25-Feb 1 | Jan 5-10 here | Jan 10-15 here | Jan 15-25 here | Jan 25-Feb 1 | Feb 1-14 |  Genre: Angst  | Feb 14 - Mar 1 | Telepathy focus recs | Trilogy verse recs | Top 20 Favourite Fics Part 1

“Everyday Love in Stockholm” - THIS FIC IS COMPLETE OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS GREAT

“I Don’t Want To Wake Up On My Own Anymore” - Erik thinks it’s disturbing how easily Charles lets his guard down. (Or, four times Charles fell asleep on Erik and one time Erik fell asleep on Charles.) [fic summary]

“Paralyzer” - Suddenly one of my favourite fics of all time, this fic is an Alternate Universe where both Erik and Charles are in law enforcement, Erik a jaded detective and Charles an FBI profiler, working together to catch a mutant killer.

“The Feel-Good Drag” - PWP - Erik and Charles have a sort of… bet going on.

“Sacrifice” - PWP - Erik is the sacrificial lamb to a culture who sacrifices in much nicer ways than most.

“More Than You Think You Are” - Warnings: non-con - “You and I, we can help Erik. You can take away his memories. Take away his pain. Make him happy. Together, we can bring the humans to their knees.”

“Trust” - The aftermath of the Cuban Beach in a reality where Erik and Raven stay.

“Wake Up and Smell The Pancakes” - The Erik who left and the one who didn’t, suddenly living each others’ lives.

“The Dating Game” - Charles and Raven have a silly competition at a bar, and Erik saves Charles from being the loser.

“Building Bridges” - When Erik met Charles, it wasn’t love at first sight. It wasn’t love at second sight either. Actually, it takes a hell of a lot of looking before Erik is ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, the guy’s alright. [fic summary]

“Beneath The Surface” - Erik is kind of a wereshark except not really a were because he can transform at will, and Charles is the marine biologist who loves him.

“Sex and Telepathy” - Charles has sex with Audrey Hepburn, but the important part is when he has sex with Erik.

“Winter In July” - Fluff fic featuring little Ororo Munroe holding Erik hostage in the Xavier mansion.

“Downtown” - Pretty Woman AU with Erik as the really really attractive prostitute Charles accidentally picks up. It’s true what they say - romance is literally around the corner!

“Not-so Good Advice” - Charles’ childhood shows itself in tiny ways, but it becomes obvious with time.

“Neither Rhyme nor Reason” - A Stark Trek AU where Erik is a Vulcan and Charles is a half betazoid half human telepath. It is, of course, awesome.

“1 2 3 4 Tell Me That You Love Me More” - Gen -Raven on Charles, and everything he will always mean to her.

“Condonare” - Part of a series - Hannibal meets a telepath named Charles Xavier, who, despite himself, he grows attached to.

“Lightning In a Cloudless Sky” - Part of a Series - Millions of years in the future, Charles Xavier still has a habit of taking in strays. This time, however, instead of a mansion he has a spaceship.

“Exegesis” - WIP - Erik had heard legends of it, Babylon the abomination, the home to those who denied the godhead of En Sabah Nur. Sebastian had gone on endlessly about the City and the heretics who had protected it, loving descriptions from the chronicles and his own imagination concerning the destruction visiting upon it and how the Savieri had been made to pay for their blasphemy and had perished along with the humans they sheltered. [summary from fic]

“No Thanks, Atticus Finch” - WIP - Erik and Charles are two lawyers on either sides of a divorce case. Except it’s not that simple.

“Burn The World and Build On The Ashes” - WIP - Warnings: character death - Erik is brutal, despite having achieved his vengeance, and after Charles is shot on the beach, makes choices that separate him and Charles. When Charles keeps popping up and trying to foil his plans, however, Erik decides he’s had enough.

“The Deconstruction of Falling Stars” - WIP - Erik is a turian, and even though I really don’t know what that means, the fic makes it believable anyway.

“History Repeating” - WIP - honestly one of my favourite fics this fic explores Charles and Erik throughout different time periods, telling their stories, both solemn and heartwarming, humorous or tragic. From their caveman days to what may be 1962.

“Mind The Change” - WIP - Alpha/omega verse where alphas are rare, with absolutely no civil liberties. It’s only natural that most of them try to run. Erik is part of a special task force that retrieves them. One day, he is requested by Raven Darkholme to retrieve her omega brother.

“Omega Online” - WIP - “It’s hopeless,” Charles says. “I’m too distracted. Usually when I feel like this I just go to a bar and get drunk and find some nice alpha—” Charles breaks off as Erik enters the room, his furious expression evidence he’s definitely overheard that last bit. Charles wonders if maybe he’s getting an eye twitch of his own. “And ask him to escort me home,” he continues seamlessly, “as it is of course quite dangerous at night, and I would not wish to be mugged.” [excerpt]

“O Captain, My Captor” - WIP - Charles is sold to slavery by his parents when they can’t pay their debt, and he is given to Erik Lehnsherr, a pirate, who then proceeds to try and beat the fight out of him. Except in the moments where he’s almost tender.

“Space Jam” - WIP - Prince Charles Xavier is Deputy Commander of the TEF Heartsteel and the newest mission they’ve been assigned starts out less than desirable and quickly goes downhill from there. It’s alright, though, he’ll cope. It doesn’t help, though, that he’s in unrequited love with his best friend and Commander of the Heartsteel, War-Prince Erik Lehnsherr. [fic summary]

“Start a War” - WIP - Erik is an adroid whose model was recalled and destroyed years ago, so when Charles Xavier finds him, the least he could do was not turn him in to be destroyed.

“Put on a Slow, Dumb Show For You” - WIP - Charles owns a coffee shop, Erik is a corporate lawyer (and owns some really nice suits). Things get a bit hazy from there. [fic summary] Except of course Charles has trust issues and Erik really shouldn’t be trusted, and coffee shop owner and lawyer is really not an accurate job description.

(*) FUNNY THAT I WAS SO SLOW IN PUTTING THIS REC LIST UP THAT BY THE TIME I WAS DONE SOME FICS WHICH WERE WIP HAD BEEN COMPLETED.

(via erikandcharles)

fuckyeahitstheavengers:

I would love to know who was the original editor of this because this is my favorite Avenger picture yet!

(via killthemuse)